My experience of believing in the Lord

Brother Feng Wu | November, 2023

My path to the Lord didn't seem easy, and every time I think about it, it seems strange. I have been taught since I was a child that atheism is true and unquestionable. I believe in personal struggle and have even lost my way many times. However, when we finally find the truth and believe in the Lord to be saved, we can only say that the Lord is really a Lord full of mercy and love.

Believe in yourself?
I was born in a mainland working class family, competitive since childhood, the heart of the most admired sentence is that where there is a will, there is a way. In my mind, I always knew that entering a good university was the only way out. The breakdown of this belief was related to my graduation from college and my job search. I worked hard in college, and I pushed myself forward, fully thinking that I would win more and better job opportunities, but I didn't. It was a great shock to me. For the first time, I realized that there were things in this world that I couldn't get no matter how hard I tried.
And then there were emotional setbacks. For a long time, I lost myself, I didn't know what I had been struggling for, I lost my fighting spirit, I suddenly seemed to have no control over myself, should I still believe in myself? But if you don't trust yourself, who can you trust?

Godless or divine?
Years of natural science education seem to tell me that atheism is correct, but with years of natural science exploration, I may have believed that science can't explain everything. The scientist must have faith from the beginning, and he must have deeper faith if he is to do more difficult research. Because he has to believe that the universe is in order. These beliefs are the basis of science. If they do not hold true, scientific research will become a "mission impossible" and a "meaningless waste of effort." My personal understanding is that behind this order is the presence of God.

First touch with truth
When I first came to Australia (I was in Canberra at the Australian Defense Force Academy), I was not used to life and the loneliness of being separated from my domestic friends, so I suddenly faced a lot of difficulties. But as soon as I arrived in Canberra, I was met at the airport by fellow countrymen and "Duan classmates" from the same department. During that time, they helped me a lot in all aspects, and I soon learned that Duan often attended weekend Christian gatherings. Through him, I gradually got to know many Chinese and Christian friends. I see God's love in them.

Once again in touch with truth at Sydney
At the beginning of this year, on the recommendation of a friend, I came to the Chinese church where I am now to attend worship. I can't remember exactly what the sermon said that day, but my heart was touched again by God's love. Over the next few months, church ministers, brothers and sisters talked with me a lot, and I became more and more clear about my choice, and finally I came to believe that only the trinity of God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, is the only true God. It was also after that that I gradually became more and more aware of what sin was and what my own sin was, and I saw that I was actually a very proud, hypocritical, jealous person, and I began to feel ashamed of my own sin. As a father of two children, I see more and more how deep and profound the love is that God sacrificed his only son so that I could be saved because of His Son.

In the second half of this year, I attended the adult Catechism class. Every lecture, I would listen quietly. I used to be a little grumpy, but now by living in Christ and relying on God's guidance, my temper has gradually become better, and I can learn to love others in the church. The most obvious example is the relationship with the person you love. In fact, my original character and temper were not so good. It was entirely because after believing in the Lord, I was able to pray from time to time and "submit to each other" according to the Bible's teaching, and a beautiful family life was so protected by God.

It is the church that let me know that the love in God's eyes is not the love between you and me, but the Lord Jesus himself. Without knowing the Lord Jesus, it is impossible to know what love is. I saw that God, in order to discipline a proud, overbearing person like me, used every brother and sister I knew to make me change little by little and become closer to the Lord. I thank God greatly for every brother and sister who prayed for me, and I wish to preach God's Gospel for the sake of shining God, so that God can gain more people.